Creative solutions to failed romances


Sex is a temporary solution to an old problem – abject loneliness. And perhaps romance is a fake version of that solution that mostly promises what it seldom delivers. And the morning after the blissful night is yet another day filled with moments of drawn out loneliness.

Only if the right partner, or our partner right now could be a bit more, bit better, slightly different.  Maybe there is a product, a method, or a potion that can erase this dread of singularity we so much abhor. Of course we all have our perfectly happy single friends that know how to love themselves enough and are fine with their lives as lone riders. They seem sadly content with their inevitability of solitude perhaps believing partnership is not worth their trouble.  In one way or another this romance thing sucks.

Just like the Beatles song claims “look at all the lonely people…”  We are lonely travelers in a cold world void of hope.  The only solution thus becomes a search for momentary happiness in temporary pleasures, which of course each one comes with a price tag.  And our only option, pay the devil now or tomorrow morning.

Perhaps there is a way out of this dilemma. Changing our perspective from our misery and our pursuit of self fulfillment to one of devotion to the cause of bringing another joy is the answer. This is a dangerous proposition however, one that seemingly has no rewards.  Do not be fooled, this is an ancient remedy that claims “it is only in giving that we receive…” Giving what?  Here is the trick that goes beyond buying chocolate and roses – giving of yourself fully, honestly, and joyfully.  This might take different forms for different people, but what remains is the fully, honestly and joyfully part that does the trick.

This kind of giving lasts longer than the Valentine’s Hallmark-holiday. This actually can transform our lives from the drabs of loneliness to the union with the divine. What the popular notion of romance promises can only be delivered by the unconditional giving of ourselves. Give whatever you most cherish without expecting even a sign of gratitude. This kind of giving is not easy and takes both courage and faith. This is why real loving is not child’s play and everything else seems mere childishness in contrast.

Tony BernardiComment